Am I a bad Dad?

Ok, here is the story. I’m a seperated dad who sees his kids every other weekend. Around 1 year ago I let my son play Rainbow Six Seige on my gaming PC where I live. He has now fallen in love with it. He loves unlocking new operators putting little peek holes and is AMAZING at the game. Once he roamed outside and snuck up behind the enemy team and knifed all of them and got accused of hacking! Anyway, to cut a long story short, he loves the competitive nature of the game and follows it on YouTube and has recently seen the new operators and unlocked caveira. He loves the game!

Anyway fast forward one year to now. Over the last two days I had an early Christmas around my mates house whilst Cat sitting his house while he was away with his wife. We had Christmas dinner and everything. My 13 YO girl and my 11 YO boy were there and they played Chubby Brussels with the sprouts, it was fun. They both got multiple presents of which one was an XBOX 1 with rainbow six seige for my son (my ex said I couldn’t get him a gaming PC because they didn’t have the room. That’s another story).

We spend several hours setting up the game and his own UPLAY account after his sister went home. She’s 13 and doesn’t like sleeping over anywhere but home. Anyway he played the game until around 11pm and he slowly got used to the controls and started to unlock more operators. He was loving it having his own copy of Rainbow 6 Seige to take home.

The time came for him to go home as his sister had already gone but he just wanted a few more games of rainbow six seige of which by now he was getting MVP on multiple games be loves the competitive team play of the game.

So anyway. This is were is all goes wrong, I get him home and the first thing is his little step brother says to him is you are only allowed to play the 12 games not the 18 games. I found out that older 13 yo sister had told on him to his mother who is a teacher. I had some argument with her about how much he loves the game and it’s more about competition than violence and how I thought he was emotionally mature enough to play and she went on about the usual mother armuments and added teacher ones to boot. He was so upset and was crying that he couldn’t play his favourite game and even offered to give me the XBOX 1 back. We were both very upset. In the end I gave up arguing and felt really bad that I had done this to him.

I think I’m a dick for not thinking about the fact he shares a room with a 6 YO step brother and The fact that I didn’t ask his mam if he could have an 18 YO game in the house. In fact I got him 3 18 yo games and one U game FIFA 16 which he already had for the 360. Anyway the light at the end of the tunnel is he might be able to play overwatch as it’s a 13+ but his go to game will always be Rainbow 6 Seige when he comes to see me. Anyway I feel I have failed as a Dad for bringing up so high then setting up for an upsetting fall đŸ˜¦ I just wish things different I’m sure he doesn’t get effected by the violence and just sees what most of us see a fun competitive shooter. I hate age ratings and I don’t see any difference between the violence overwatch and the volence of seige apart from the blood and that its more realisitic. Has anyone else had a simlar experience to me? Have I failed as a dad đŸ˜¦ feelsbadman


Work / Life / You Tube Balance

Well I managed to get 3 videos out over the weekend (everspace gameplay pretty cool rougelike game) but none during the week. I been so busy at work this week I have barely let had time to to do anything but work. Hopefully, I get at least one more out this weekend but I also have to work Sunday until 7am until 2Pm. 0700 till 1400 for all those I know in work lol.

Anyways, I am thinking about setting up a Patreon in which I can promote through my You Tube and Twitch channels. Patreon is a site were people can pay monthly to support you rather than replying on Ad revenue alone.

I would feel a little cheeky setting it up and pushing it online but a steady income from that could help me fulfil my dream of doing You Tube, twitch and online entertainment full time and eventfully leaving my job and being financially independent and being free to be my own boss. That would be awesome đŸ™‚

Oh next week I am looking forward to looking after my mates house who has Fibre so I can take my pc and test my stream properly. it’s a one night only deal really as I have my kids the next day for an early Christmas which I am really looking forward to.

Anyway got to shoot now off to work as on Duty this week. see you on the next one.


So You Wanna Be a You Tuber?

Have you got what it takes?

The question really is; Do you have what it takes to be a You Tuber?

The time is 0048 and here I am lying in bed alone, typing my first blog post on my Sumsung Galaxy S7 mobile phone after a long editing session on Sony Movie Studio. My PC is still rendering my latest creation and I can hear it’s internal fan cooling it’s insides quietly and although the screens are turned off I can see little standby lights telling me my machine is waiting for me any time I want to be creative.

Although my YouTube channel is over 7 years old today marks the one year anniversary of when I actively started making You Tube videos. I have only 156 subscribers of which I am very grateful. I won’t lie, I was expecting a few more by now but still I am not disheartened and will carry on producing content until I reach my dream. I know why my channel hasn’t grow as I had wish. It is because my content needs more Polish and Consistency and I need to learn to relax more and content more easily I think with my viewers.

The reason I make You Tube videos is I love to entertain people, be entertained and be creative. YouTube scratches all those itches for me so it’s my hobby and I love it.

I am a father of 2 gorgeous kids and going through my second divorce and attempting my second military career so along with my long distance Girl friend I have a busy yet fulfilled life and sometimes struggle to fit in my hobby as much as I would like.

Let’s talk about my dream. Likes hundreds and thousands of others my dream is that I want to make You Tube PC gaming and live streaming  content creation my  full time job and career. It is something I love so I have taught myself SO much over the last year and yet I am still learning new setup information and editing techniques every day.

I will use this Blog to bring you on a Journey of 256 to 1000000 subscribers before 2025 when I will be 48 and hope to have left my military career and be fully financially independent and have a formidable online presence.

Hard work and more hard work passion and lots of patience is all you need to be a You Tubers. Knowledge is also key!

Thanks for reading now I must get some sleep as I’m taking my little boy to football tomorrow. He’s a goal keeper.

Have a nice day!